Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What I Consider to Be a Creepy Video I Made Because I Didn't Want to Do My English Paper

Viewers beware. You're in for a scare. Not really, though.

What'd you think? Scary? Yeah, I didn't think so either. I just wanted to put off writing my paper for English which is due on Friday, so this is what I did instead. I might even put it on YouTube. Who knows?

Side note: I went to this community service thing today where I served food to children from broken homes. Yeah, it was great and everything. But I really don't like kids. I'm sorry. It's just an unchangeable fact of life. On the other hand, the one thing I really do like about kids is how they never cease to surprise me at the most unexpected times.

Take for instance last week. I was babysitting my neighbors' kid, who's five-years-old. We were watching an old episode of that show Hey Arnold! to pass the time, and he was explaining it to me.

"I don't get it," I said. "If Helga has such a huge crush on Arnold, why does she keep calling him a football head?"

"I don't know, man." he said, shrugging. "Bitches be crazy."

At first I was a little shocked that he said this, but then I was like--well, you know, that's just kids for you. They're just full of weird little surprises like that.

I know I wrote this post just a day after the last one, so if any of you care to scroll down to the post below this one, there's a short story about a mouse named Franz who happens to be a racist. Also, there's a picture of my penis.

Movie Quote of the Day: "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit." -Dr. Emmett Brown, Back to the Future

That Blond Guy

10 people secretly have a crush on me:

Gabi said...

Your chin's very sharp.

There seemed to be a trend going on at my summer camp among the 7 year olds to tell people to go rape chickens.

Anonymous said...

Those kids...
By the way, I'm deathly afraid of your video.
(When I'm afraid I tend to talk to my rabid whelk army and they fix things for me.)

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

Och, kids. I remember when five year olds were all about, "I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!"

Me personally, I blame the parents. I ALWAYS blame the friggin' parents, because they're the ones to blame to begin with.

I didn't make you forget to wear the condom, or warn you when your lady poked a hole in the damn thing. I ain't the one to blame for your crack baby, I ain't yer baby daddy.

(begin controversial statement) For the record I'm also pro-choice, pro-death penalty and pro-euthanasia.(end controversial statement) I'm just sayin'...

Bookish.Spazz said...

Haha it's 5:37 AM so nothing can scare me this early because I'm already a zombie.

Children are silly. And I love babies.

L. said...

Bitches be crazy. Gotta love kids. I love children. I do. They make me happy, and they say the funniest things ever. Honestly.

At the summer camp I work at, first thing in the morning, when I was walking with one of my campers to put his backpack away, he stops, puts his ear to his backpack and then looks at me, terrified. He then says "Oh no, my backpack is angry!" Then he dropped it and ran away.

I love kids anyway, even though they are so weird. I mean, we were once them, and they're going to be us one day, looking back and saying "Shit, kids are crazy weird." Funny how life is like that.

That video was the most enjoyable 1:38 seconds of my life. Just saying.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

You really don't like kids?


Btw, I did Nicolai today.

...You're welcome. :D

Nice video, lol.

Max Silver said...

Wonderful video XD

Vice Versa said...

that video was scary. when you disappeared, i knew you would pop up scarily some time and then you didn't so i thought you wouldn't, but then that end face. scary.
but then i'm still afraid of the monsters under my bed.

I love kids, so cute and adorable and CUTE. i especially like the cute ones.
but i have never encountered a kid who would say something like that. It scares me. What is the world coming to?
I love Hey Arnold. It doesn't come on tv here anymore though. :(
I never liked arnold. The grandma was my favourite.

chelsea said...

You have very prominent facial features.

That 5 year old seems to be ahead of the pack - now whenever a girl treats him like shit he'll have an answer to fall back on. When I was in fifth grade I had the biggest crush on one of my brother's friends and decided to showcase my love by stomping on the poor boy's feet every time I saw him. Yes, we bitches are crazy.

Boyd said...

Bloggers be crazy.