Sunday, September 18, 2011

Thoughts and Meditations and Little Wisdoms Brought to You by a Person Directly Descended from the Buddha

Yeah, that's right! I have a new video! Watch it. Enjoy it. Lap it up like little starving puppies. Eat! Eat! Eat!

Sorry there's no music. I can't do it from my computer because for some reason Windows Live Movie Maker isn't letting me add any music besides those fucking awful sample pieces that remind me of elevators and old people. And I couldn't add it on YouTube because AudioSwap is being a bitch, surprise surprise.

It was really awkward. We were having this Youth Group kick-off sort of thing at this kid's house. Everyone was just messing around: playing basketball, riding around in a little Barbie jeep, and eating little pigs in a blanket. He had a tire swing in the backyard, and I wanted to show off my inhuman upper arm strength by climbing the rope all the way up to the branch that it was tied to.

There was a rope coming down from either side of the branch, though, so every time I pulled down on one, the other one just went higher up. I asked one of the girls nearby to hold onto one of the ropes while I climbed up the other one. I had already insisted that I could climb the rope--I couldn't just back down.

So we both stood on top of the tire swing and she grabbed onto one rope while I grabbed onto the other and hoisted myself up. After I got up several feet, though, my foot got caught in a coil, so I was stuck. And, to my embarrassment, my man parts were pressed right up against her breasts. It was all I could do to hang there and look ahead as it happened. Yeah, I got hard.

She said, "What...what is that?" I didn't even answer. But after a few moments of that, she said, "I have to go." I said, "No! You can't go! I'll fall!" She sighed and held onto the rope. I wiggled my foot for a while to try to get it free, (which did NOT help my situation), and it was about fifteen seconds before I could get it loose. As soon as I came crashing down, she walked away pretty quickly. I had to walk around on my hands and knees for a while so no one could see. And when people asked me why I was doing that, I just said, "I'm pretending to be a cat. See? It's fun." It wasn't to hard to convince them. That's the kind of thing I do all the time.

Did I tell you my dad met the mayor? I'm not even joking. I'll tell you more about that later.

Movie Quote of the Day: "F YOU, mother-effer!" -Phil Foster, Date Night

That Blond Guy

11 people secretly have a crush on me:

Mark said...

That's quite awkward yeah...that's going to come back to haunt someone.

Eeshie said...



L. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
(I say that for every sad situation. Right now it appears to be the loss of your dignity.)
*giggles quietly to self*

Sorry. *Somber* Really.

Boyd said...

I'm not even able to express how amused that made me by turning on capslock and hitting H and A repeatedly...congratulations! That was probably the worst (and most amusing) awkward situation you'll ever experience XD

Anonymous said...

That is insanely awkward. Oh my.
...I don't even know what else to say. *insert expressive emoticon here*

Bookish.Spazz said...

Woah. Dude that really sucks. Like a lot. I'm glad girls can hide when they get aroused.

Furree Katt said...

i actually used to own a little barbie jeep when i was... little.
totally agreeing with Bookish.Spazz!
and sigh. no one understands the fun-ness of pretending to be a cat.

LoneIslander said...

I have no words............

Gabi said...

And I'm sorry that that happened. But it's funny.

If it makes you feel any better, I accidentally implied that I masturbate in front of 50 people.

Vice Versa said...

Harry Potter <3

barbie jeep? Like a proper mini pink jeep? that you can drive around in?

That is one of the most embarrassing things i've ever heard. I'm sorry for you. but it's also funny. Thanks for making me laugh :)

Smokey_Cat said...

you sometimes remind me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.