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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Knock Knock. Who's There? IT'S DA PO PO!!!!

Today something very disturbing and perplexing happened to me. It was sometime around 9 o'clock, and I was chatting with a friend of mine in the hallway. He asked me how I was, I said I was just fine, and then I asked him how he was. Before he could answer, though, his eyes went big and he clutched his throat. He was shaking violently, and his face was turning blue. I thought he was choking, but then he began to shrink.

He shrunk smaller and smaller as I watched in horror, and soon feathers began to sprout all over his body. His face, legs, and arms morphed and twisted, and finally he was only about a foot high.

I looked down in shock as I stared at the chicken that was now standing before me. It clucked and stared at me with those little black eyes, and I started to freak out and hyperventilate. What was I supposed to do? Call 911? They would just laugh at me. So I scooped up the chicken into my arms and ran off to go tell a teacher.

When I finally did find a teacher alone in a classroom in the Science Building, I ran in with the chicken in my arms screaming, "Help! Help!"

The teacher looked at me calmly and said, "What's the problem?"

I said, "I didn't know what to do! I was just talking to him and he turned into a chicken before my eyes. It wasn't my fault!"

The teacher was not at all troubled. He didn't even look at me. Instead, he looked straight at the chicken in my arms and said, "Greetings, my Lord. Do you have the stones?"

I looked down in surprise at the chicken. Amazingly, it nodded.

I gasped and let it drop from my hands. It flapped its wings and landed softly on the ground. The teacher gave a solemn bow and said, "Excellent. Shall we begin?"

In response, the chicken walked forward toward the teacher and opened its beak. Out came a small, smooth stone with little squiggly lines on it. He dropped it into the teacher's hands. The teacher said, "Water." Three more stones came out of the chicken's mouth, and the teacher said, "Earth, Wind, and Fire."

He cupped them into his hands and raised them to his face, saying, "These are the four elements: Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water. They are very powerful, but only when combined with the fifth element can they fulfill our purposes for them."

Now I was intrigued. "What is the fifth element?" I asked interestedly.

The chicken and the teacher exchanged glances. The teacher smiled.

"Don't you know, Christopher?" he said. "The fifth element is YOU."

I was shocked, but I also realized that a part of me had known it all along. I also somehow knew that we had very little time. After a moment of silence, I nodded and said, "Let's begin."

As I stood in the center of the classroom, the teacher set the four stones in a circle around me. After he had finished, he and the chicken stood side by side and bowed their heads, and the teacher began to chant in a very ancient language that I did not recognize. Then, each of the stones began to glow. I looked down and realized that I was glowing too. Then a beam of light shot between each of the stones and connected them, and a beam of light connected me to each of the stones as well.

The teacher's chanting reached a climax, there was a flash of light, and then everything was back to normal. Normal, except there was now a fourth person joining us in the room. I stared at him in awe.

"Jesus?" I asked.

He nodded.

TO BE CONTINUED

Movie Quote of the Day: "I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship." -Bender, The Breakfast Club

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

12 people secretly have a crush on me:

Boyd said...

People seem to turn into to chickens frequently when in your presence.

Gabi said...

Talk about cliffhangers. . .
Grrr.

Bookish.Spazz said...

JESUS?! WHAT?

L. said...

So you're the avatar as well? I knew you were to good to be true. You must be a robot.

OH, and tell Jesus I said HI! Because we stand united in the Jew-ness! Gotta love the Jew-ness!

I read your titles and I never know what to expect. It's like watching a really convincing drag queen.

Cosette said...

Oh, Jesus...

Maxwell said...

Reading this, all I could think of was the old Bob Dylan lyrics "Everybody must get stoned."

Mark said...

That's one weird ass day O_O

Tegan said...

OK, someone replied to your query on my blog, but you're obviously not gonna see it so I will tell you all about the english education system :) we have secondary school from age 11 - 16, we then go to college or sixth form (some secondary schools have a sixth form attached) aged 16 - 18. you don't have to go to sixth form, you can go on to do an apprenticeship or whatever you wanna do, but most people go to college. and then you go to university or take a gap year or whatever afterwards! :D

dirtycowgirl said...

I got as far as the bit where he turned into a chicken and realised I was hungry.

You are very bizarre.

Vice Versa said...

why must you end your stories in cliffhangers?

turning into a chicken sounds like it's painful. I hope i never turn into a chicken.

water is my favourite element, and fire is second, but you can be third favourite :)

PurpleMist. said...

Ok, when I first started reading this post, I didn't realise it was a story, until I read the turning-into-a-chicken part :P
Write the rest as soon as you can, cliff hangers are mean!

Furree Katt said...

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD *flaps hands in excitement* can't wait to read what happens next!