O Captain! My Captain!

A few weeks ago, I was at Youth Group, making the usual fool of myself and trying to convince the rest of the Christian teenagers present that God was a delusion and that they were wasting their time worshiping an imaginary figure. (But not really. Actually I just sang the songs and ate the snacks when they were offered to me.)

But I was making my typical weird jokes and offering my bizarre commentary which usually involved tying Bible stories into Woody Allen movies or trying to state my case for why I thought it was likely that Zacchaeus was not just a short person but in fact a leprechaun.

At our snack break, (I swear to God, we have those--they serve Chick-fil-a and cheese with crackers and grape juice and breast milk), I was making a particularly ridiculous joke which I think involved elements such as Richard Dreyfuss, bunny rabbits, and a French housewife. Once I was done, I got the usual response. Scattered laughs, mostly blank stares, and a few kids silently praying to God to forgive me for my terrible sins.

This time, however, one girl--who usually just stares at me when I make my weird remarks--looked me in the eye, smiled a little, and said, "I hope you never get boring."

At this moment I had a flashback to The Breakfast Club. There, staring at me curiously and vividly from my memory, is Ally Sheedy. Her cheeks are glossed with fake tears. Her wild, dark hair sits on top of her head like a giant brown mammal, and her eyebrows are thick and beautiful. She waits for a dramatic pause and then, voice dripping with trepidation and nervous excitement about the secret she's about to share with her four unlikely friends, she speaks.

"When you grow up, your heart dies," she says.

Then there's Judd Nelson, with his perfect, criminal face. His eyes are filled to the brim with what appears to be almost genuine apathy, nose wrinkled only slightly, mouth open just wide enough to prove how angst-ridden he is, and fantastic hair splashing onto his shoulders like a waterfall in heaven--a shocking contrast to his role of the attorney Robin Weathers in From the Hip.

"Who cares?" he replies with a perfectly delivered but clearly fraud lack of interest.

Ally Sheedy, who does not seem to be thrown off by the question, replies unflinchingly.

"I care," she says.

Then I'm transported to a private boarding school in Vermont. There are the faces of over a dozen teenage boys, all staring befuddledly at a photograph of a class of boys from decades before them who are, apparently, not unlike themselves. They're exchanging glances and occasionally throwing frightened looks at Robin Williams, who has his hair parted neatly and an impossibly sweet and docile twinkle in his eyes despite his reputation as an actor and comedian.

And the boys are craning their necks and straining their ears to understand and to listen, holding their breaths so they can hear. And then there's Robin Williams again, whispering hoarsely out of the corner of his mouth,

"Carpe....Carpe....Carpe Diem...seize the day, boys....Carpe Diem."

And then I'm transported back to Youth Group. I'm standing in the room alone. The session ended two hours ago--according to my watch--and I'm pretty sure I was mugged--because my phone, wallet, and shoes are all missing.

Carpe Diem. This is a phrase which has had so much meaning in my life. A phrase which I would even describe as my motto, if not for the fact that Carpe Diem most literally translated from Latin does not actually mean "to seize the day," but instead "to fondle the day."

Take chances. Do things you have always wanted to do. Live your live as if today was your last day. This idea, Carpe Diem, is a perfect philosophy for life. Human beings are like turtles: they're most comfortable inside their little shells. They're afraid to take risks, and oftentimes they have difficulty getting anything done because they're afraid to leave their comfort zone. They're also like turtles in the way that their blood is highly nutritious. (Don't look at me like that. I read it in the Life of Pi.)

And now I'm remembering what this girl said. Never get boring, she told me, a short way of saying, You may get a load of crap sometimes for being who you really are, but don't grow up and become an accountant who hates children and eats frozen dinners for both breakfast and supper. And this is advice I won't easily forget. Instead, I'll remember:

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

Cheers,
That Blond Guy