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Friday, August 26, 2011

A Post About Nothing Much At All. But Look! Kittens!

I'll begin this post by saying that last night I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey for the first time, and I was on my hands and knees for an hour with a sponge and the stain remover solution--wiping bits of brain off the walls and furniture because WHEN I WATCHED THAT MOVIE MY MIND EXPLODED.

Watching that movie was what I imagine it would be like to have sexual intercourse with an angel: slow-moving, overwhelmingly beautiful, surprisingly complicated, and with a killer twist ending. (That analogy doesn't make any more sense to me than it does to you.) I definitely loved the movie, although I don't know what exactly I loved about it, and I have no fucking clue what it was supposed to be about. I think I like it better that way, though. It's like closing your eyes while you're screwing an ugly chick. Just concentrate on how it feels. The emotions. The sensations. If you open your eyes too early, you're like, "Oh, shit. Get that thing out of my face!" So it's better to keep your eyes closed.

Two sex-related metaphors in the same paragraph!!! Do I get a cookie?

Speaking of pussies, I think it's about time that you met mine.



Ha!!! You thought I was talking about vaginas, didn't you? Nah, these are my two cats, Lucky and Socks. We got them from the pound sometime around four years ago, and now they're members of the family. That's Lucky on the left, and Socks on the right, because she has little white feet, although you can't see them now. Socks is the one who chases rubberbands, sneezes a lot, and jumps on people's backs from the tops of bookshelves. Lucky is the one who has weird skin problems and is always rubbing up against sharp objects. He's also the one who ran away for a week and was found by the neighbor's dog, who was coincidentally ALSO named Lucky. Pretty lucky, huh?

I had another migraine today. I sincrely hope I do not have brain cancer. I have semi-serious headaches probably 3-5 times a week, but I only get a bad migraine every other month or so. And when I do, it feels like I'm giving birth to an alien fetus in my skull. I went back to bed around 11 and lay there for an hour, unable to fall asleep. Just twisting and turning. When your stomach really hurts and it feels like you're building up and up to something, all that's going to happen is you throw up. When it's a migraine, you know that you're building up and up and going nowhere.

Finally I got an ice pack and slept with that under my neck. I also took a couple of Benodryl to clear my sinuses and help me go to sleep. (Side note: when I was little and couldn't fall asleep, I was scared Santa Claus wouldn't come to our house if I was still awake. So my mom used to give me like three or four Benodryl so I could fall asleep.) When I woke up, it wasn't completely gone, but it was a lot better. For any of you who get migraines, you'll know that when it goes away it's without a doubt the best feeling in the world. It's better than an orgasm. You feel like you've died and gone to heaven.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm talking about this. I haven't even said anything funny. I just need someone to talk to about it because when I tell my friends, they're like "Oh" and when I tell my family they're like "Would you stop complaining?" and anyway I just feel creepy talking to my stuffed animals at my age. So I'm telling you guys.

Also, you know my profile picture? That actually comes from a photograph series I took several weeks ago. Kind of like this one, which won a National Scholastic Photography award except a lot more and I haven't figured out how to combine them yet.



Would you guys like to see the series? It'll probably take a lot of time to post it, so I don't want to bother unless you really do want to see it. So tell me in the comments and I'd be happy to post it if any of you like photography and would care to see it.

This post wasn't AS long. Don't forget to vote on the poll and tell me whether or not you like longer or shorter posts. Because some of you are like "Wa wa wa I like longer posts." But others of you are like "Wa wa wa I like shorter posts." And it's confusing.

Listen to this song and then die of happiness, like I did.

Also, this is my last blog post. Ever. Just thought you should know.

Movie Quote of the Day: "I was gettin' somethin'," -Declan, Leap Year

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

12 people secretly have a crush on me:

Bookish.Spazz said...

I'd love to see your photography series!

And your migrane situation sounds like my cramp situation. Sometimes the pain is so horrible I want to rip out my lady parts and just die.

But then it goes away and I'm happy and whatnot.

That.Video.Was.Epic.

JayJay said...

Your description of a migraine is near perfect. I hate them.

I have yet to watch 2001...I feel as though I should but I am a little, um, not scared exactly but concerned.

Cute cats, btw.

Ash said...

Ehhhhhh, I get migraines too. Closest thing to torutre I've ever experienced becaue you can't do SHIT about them.

Curse those people who don't understand what we suffer through...

Gabi said...

(I'm replying to your comment on the previous post here, because multiple comments annoy me.)

Thanks! :D

My trip was awesome. Jewish summer camps usually are. I got to work with teenagers with autism and stuff, which was great.
-------------------
On your post length - just go with what feels right. As cliched as that sounds, you're a good writer and probably already sort of cater your posts/post lengths to the subject and to your audience.

(I'm sorry that it's your last blog post. Actually, you just drove me to suicide. Bye.)

Boyd said...

I'll hunt you down and break your legs, Christine-style, if this really is your last post. And I'll force you to write for me. And I'll only give you Benedryl after you've finished.

I like long posts!! It'd be swell to see your photos, too!

L. said...

This better not be your last post!

I like your long posts, but I agree with Gabi: just go with what feels right.

I'd love to see your photos! I love photography, probably because I suck at taking pictures. I love watching people do what I can't. It's humbling, especially considering I'm awesome and there isn't much I can't do. (I kid.)

On the headache situation, DO NOT ASSUME IT IS CANCER. ALSO DO NOT TYPE YOUR SYMPTOMS INTO WEB MD BECAUSE WEB MD WILL TELL YOU IT'S CANCER. I get three to five headaches every day, and believe you me, I know that they are no fun. This has been happening for three years, and trust me, try to figure out what's wrong NOW. And if you do, tell me, because I've not a fucking clue about my head and most headache specialists don't work with kids.

Sorry, I just like dumped my issues down your throat. I shouldn't have done that. Oh, well.

Cute cats!

cricketfreak said...

Ow...headaches. Are those like cramps? Cos I get cramps. And they hurt.
NOOOO THIS CANNNOT BE YOUR LAST POST PLEASE DONT LEAVEEE MEEE

Abby said...

Photography is awesome and I'd love to see some of yours, assuming I'm still alive after this hurricane.
I don't think I've ever had a migraine, but I assume it's much, much worse than this sinus headache I have from the storm, and that must suck. I wish you the best of luck with not getting brain cancer. You should probably stop hugging microwaves.

RainboRevolver said...

2001 blew my mind, in the most sexual way possible. But also explosively. Like, I got oddly aroused and then totally combusted. True story.

I dig your photo skillz.

That bit about this being your last blog post ever had better be a joke, because if it's not, I will hunt you down.

Have a nice day <3

Max Silver said...

*hands you a cookie*

-E- said...

read thus spoke zarathustra. then you'll know what 2001 is about.

Furree Katt said...

your cats are the CUTEST! i really like the name 'Socks'.
i really hope your migraines go away. :( they sound awful.

i'm not in your blog list :'(