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Friday, August 12, 2011

BITCHES GUESS WHO JUST SAW DEATH CAB PERFORM LIVE HELL YEAH

I'll give you a hint. His name begins with a C. His favourite colour is periwinkle blue. If he could be any animal he would be a baby turtle. He's a triplet. He lives in Atlanta. He's the author of The Nerd Archives and OH I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE IT'S ME!!!

I saw Death Cab for Cutie and Frightened Rabbit play at Encore Park last night and at that point because I have never before been to a REAL concert in my life I lost my concert virginity. It hurt a little bit and there was actually some bleeding, but also it felt really really good. Frightened Rabbit opened and while I didn't love their music, they were Scottish which made them awesome. They also threw out free tickets to their next concert, but apparently the lead singer had weak arms so the tickets didn't get very far and I'm pretty sure all six of them floated down to the same guy. Anyway, they were okay but they play at 8:30 so it was still light outside and the amphitheater was pretty much empty but did I mention they're Scottish?

Death Cab itself was so fucking awesome. Beyond amazing. Ben Gibbard came out wearing a plaid shirt and dark pants, and with his long hair and the Georgia heat, he was drenched in sweat by the end of the show. The band played the perfect mix of new and old songs. Ben was SO nice and really funny. At the beginning of one song, he started to explain what it was about, but got a little tongue-tied and ended up saying "You know what? Eff that. You'll figure it out." He didn't want to use the f-word at all during the concert, which I guess is cool even though I think it's the most beautiful word in the English language besides "plethora."

My friend recorded a lot of the songs, and I would post the videos here, but he had some trouble sending them to me so that's not going to happen unless one of you happens to be a wizard and can solve our technological problems with a little black magic. No? Okay. Then you can find videos of the songs from the concert here and here and even here. (I think every single person in the amphitheater was singing along to that last one. Even the parrot the guy in the row behind us had on his shoulder.)

Those videos are probably better than the ones we recorded. My friend sang loudly along to every one and kept yelling "FUCK YEAH" and I was weeping noisily and repeatedly shouted things like "BEN I WANT YOUR BABIES" and "GIVE US SOME SUGAR" and "BEN TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT." You know. Stuff like that. I wasn't actually all that drunk, but I needed the cover so people wouldn't look at me funny when I asked him to strip.

My phone takes really shitty pictures, so these are the only ones I have where you can tell what's what:



This is Frightened Rabbit playing. Notice all of the emtpy seats. Also, notice their Scottishness.



Frightened Rabbit is still playing. I just posted this picture so you could see the backs of the heads of the most annoying middle-aged couple in all of Greater Atlanta. The husband, the baldy on the right, was not all that bad. His wife, however, stood up and swung her pendulous behind for her entire stay at the concert. She took a million pictures, sung along so loudly that I could hardly hear myself demand to see Jason McGerr's nipples, and was dangerously drunk after about fifteen minutes of them playing. She kept swooping down to kiss her husband on the head, tell him that she loved him, and beg him to never leave her. It would have been touching if her enormous booty didn't keep blocking my view of Ben Gibbard's beautiful face.



That little red dot is Ben Gibbard. He's just called out to an audience member standing in the pit who was apparently not wearing a shirt. He said to the people standing around him, "Please verify that he's wearing some pants. I can't see from here."

It ended a little past eleven. Overall, I am totally glad that this was my first concert. At first I was worried I would hate it because it's combined two of my greatest fears: large crowds and loud noises. But it was actually the most satisfying and amazing experience of my summer. The music filled me up and washed out all of my stress, my worries about starting school again, and my NUMEROUS insecurities. And it actually felt powerful and profound to be part of the crowd. It was like being just another bee in the bee hive. I was part of a heartbeat. A pulse. It made me feel more human somehow. And it was enough to be human.

Okay, Rolling Stone magazine, that's enough of that. This is turning out to be a long post so I'll just end it about now. Oh! Although I do think it's worthy of mention that it was his birthday when he played yesterday. So I was disappointed that Zooey Deschanel wasn't there with him, because I'm worried she didn't receive the love letter I sent her a few months ago. Fortunately, I have a copy, and I'm going to give it to her in case it got lost in the mail.

I also got a haircut yesterday. I told my barber, who's Russian-American, to cut my hair and my beard so that I looked like the bassist from Nena. We ended up with something like this:



I told her to just take a little bit more off. So we ended up with this:



She asked how that it was and I told her it was total shit but I was a busy man so I might as well keep it that way but don't think I was gonna pay her for such a piece of crap job. Then I left. Hurriedly. While stroking my new haircut lovingly.

Yeah, I know this is another long post. If you complain about it, though, I'm going to chop off your feet, coat them in maple syrup, and feed them to a baby grizzly bear.

Thanks for reading guys. You have no idea how much this blog means to me. I start school this Monday and I need you more than ever!!!

Movie quote of the day: "I just got felt up by my grandmother." -Samantha Baker, Sixteen Candles

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

15 people secretly have a crush on me:

Katie said...

ughh I hate you. why you and not meeee?

you are so lucky. it sounds awesome. and I'm jealous. next time bring me with you!

Maxwell said...

At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man, I have no idea who Death Cab is. I mean, I know they're a band, but I could not pick a song of theirs out of a hat. Even if that hat only contained one song.

And congrats on popping your concert cherry!

L. said...

Fun fact of the day: Me and Chris Walla, the guitarist for Death Cab, share a birthday! Isn't that dandy?!

I'm so jealous of you. I love DCFC with the passion of one thousand imploding suns. I seriously love them more than life itself.

My first concert was N'Sync when I was 7. My first concert that I actually remember was Coldplay when I was 12. It was awesome.

I love concerts. There's just something about them. You feel like part of something bigger than just you. And that is wonderful, no?

Ash said...

Only just saw your first concert recently? Me too, me too. I feel we're part of an elite crowd, called, you know... the rest of the world. Pretty much. Ah well, better late than never.

dirtycowgirl said...

You're a triplet ? Do you look at your brothers (?) and feel like you've been cloned.
I have no clue who the bands are so I'll skip that. I'm more curious as to why taking a 'little bit more' off appears to have made you gay ?

I'm hoping I can apply the reverse of this and get Vin to grow his hair so he turns straight and then I can have my way with him.

ps that bright blue writing looks kinda 3D to me...I think I need new glasses

agent 0017/shay said...

i'm so jealous that you lost your concert virginity to death cab for cutie, and glad to know that it doesn't hurt too much.....

Myli said...

I am so jealous! Glad you got to go to the concert though. Oh and I love the haircut! :)

Red Sunshine said...

Death Cab is pretty cool~ So happy you got to see them! I start school in a little over a week, but can't wait to read your back to school blogging xDD

Furree Katt said...

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! i'm so super jealous of you but i'm glad you had a great time. i LOLed at the part of the middle aged couple.
your haircut is great! though i'm not yet used to your face.

Cat. said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE Frightened Rabbit, what's wrong wit you boy?!

Bookish.Spazz said...

I lost my concert virginity at Warped Tour. So it was like a gang bang of awesome bands.

Plus, I went during their their best years (12 & 13) so it was doubly awesome. The only thing that wasn't awesome was the putrid smell of sweat, puke, and marijuana. Not a lovely mix.

I always feel like a douche whenever I don't notice that someone has had a haircut.

Boyd said...

So...apparently, I'm a concert-whore. How kind of you.

Haha, that'd be an excellent concert to see!! My friend Tanner has burned me pretty much all of Death Cab's CDs, but I haven't delved into their work too much. I do love his covers of their songs, though!! Tanner's, I mean.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

YOU LUCKY PERSON.

I hate you.

Catia said...

YOU SAW DEATH CAB PLAY OH MY GOD, YOU LUCKY SON OF A FUCKING COCK I AM SO JEALOUS... MY FAVOURITE BAND.

Did they play "TItle and Registration?" And a "Lack of Colour"

Oh my God. Send them to Europe, will you... You bloody lucky bastard.

Sarcasmic Ross said...

I might have to decapitate you, cut out your brain, and (after a lengthy, expensive scientific research program) extract the memories of Death Cab to keep as my own... You bitch.