A Superb Trio of Totally Unrelated Phenomenon

1) 'Twas my birthday last Saturday. I'm severely disappointed in all of you for not wishing me a Happy Birthday, (shakes bony finger disappointedly with a mischevious twinkle in his eye). Still, it was an exceptional day. On Friday, I had seven or eight friends over for a few hours--then we went to see Red. Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Hellen Mirren, and...(drumroll please)...LENNIE! Tell-me-about-the-rabbits Lennie! You know--Lennie? AKA John Malkovich? Nevermind--you guys aren't worth it.

But it was a great movie. After we left the theater it was pretty late and there were a bunch of shady people outside. We saw one woman digging through ash trays for cigarette butts, for example. Also, there was a long line of hip-looking people waiting to enter a really b******* nightclub with prostitutes and rap stars and five-year-old brothers and sisters. Yeah, about that last part, it turned out to be a steak house. (Sigh.) Scratch the part about prostitutes and rap stars.

For my birthday I got a slinky and my first cell phone. I'm mostly really excited about the slinky. The cell phone I've opened up once or twice since I got it on Saturday. The slinky I've been playing with five hours every day after I get home from school. The slinky is all I really need in life anymore. If I was Tom Hanks in Cast Away, the slinky would be my Wilson. If I was Danny Torrence in The Shining, the slinky would be my index finger. I love that thing.

I guess the phone is pretty cool too. I've named all of my contacts so far in French, which has been the most fun. Overall, it was a pretty awesome birthday.

2) I'm reading a book called Everything is Wrong With Me, based on the author's infamous blog, Everything is Wrong With Me: 30, Bipolar, and Hungry. I've fallen in love with the book. Literally--and that is a difficult thing to sort out legally. There's this one dialogue in the book that left me breadless with laughter. I won't post it TODAY, because the post is already too long, but I'll definitely include it in the next post.

3) Finally, I want you to check out this video by a two-person band called Matt and Kim. (Make sure you watch the whole thing.) It's utterly random, superbly arousing, and totally genius. The ending is the best part, in my professional opinion. Here it is.

I read in a book about computer software that can UN-DO censorship pixelization. That is what I want for my next birthday. Show us all or nothing, government morons. Preferably all. Yeah, definitely don't show us nothing. Kim's body is angelic despite her pixelated privates. And, um, Matt has nice legs.

Was the ending not an exceptional stroke of spontaneous brilliance?

Cheers,
That Blond Guy