Crushes: Nothing Is Getting Crushed Except Fresh Mangoes Into Fruit Smoothies

"That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else."

What else would they call them, Mr. Baker? Because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't call them "squeezies." Would you ever leave a note in someone's locker which told them you had a squeezie on them? Would people ever say they had a celebrity squeezie on Brad Pitt? Do people have squeezies on the girl next door? No! That's not at all appropriate and oddly sexual-sounding.

Movies, such as Sixteen Candles, do make a good point about crushes. Most of the time, they're utterly hopeless and childish. They lead to nowhere except heartbreak and a lot of frustration taken out on your cat.

But let's explore the positive aspect of crushes, shall we?

The crushes/flirting stage of relationships for teenagers is, arguably, the most exhilarating. After that comes first dates, second dates, potentially sex, arguments, and the break-up. Most of the rest are typically uncomfortable, long, boring, and awkward. I think it's the fact that for a lot of us, after we get what we want, we don't want it anymore.

There is something oddly satisfying about drooling after a girl or guy who you know you stand no chance with. Something so satisfying that you don't mind that whenever you wave to this person in passing, they don't even look at you. All you need is to stare at their flawless profile during the entirety of science class (whoops--that's probably just me) and feel giddy and hopeful all day long.

Plus, you know that you can get out of the relationship anytime you want, because the "relationship" is pretty much limited to a lot of stalkerish gawking and stuttered compliments. In about two months at the very most, this person is going to be off your radar. That's oddly, (very oddly), liberating.

Still, there's always that aspect of crushes that Mr. Baker and other coming-of-ages always seem to discuss. When you like the other person too much, they're sometimes sickening. Like a disease, really. When the crush is deep enough, you feel both giddy and depressed at the same time, which often results in indigestion.

That's where I am. Remember the "goddess" I mentioned a while back? Well, she's still there, and she's no less majestic. She's also very popular. Alas, that brings us to the more unpleasant side of being a nerd: you can't date popular girls until after college when you start making the dough.

I've actually written her a poem. (That I haven't given her, of course.) I know, yes. It's very sweet and all that. "Adorable," some of you might suggest. "Cute" is a word a few of you will dare to utter.

Anyway, that's the end of that. I'm feeling the mingled giddy-depression I mentioned earlier. It doesn't feel good.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE: I lost my flashdrive. Alas, that's not fated to happen to anyone except me. About a month ago, I lost all of my files. Now that I've given up on trying to recover them, I look for my flashdrive to re-download the files. And I can't find my flashdrive. I guess that's just how much God loves me.

A lot of "0 Comments" I've been seeing lately. I guess that's my fault, as my posts after been pretty pathetic. But I need your support, friends. I have a feeble self-esteem.

Cheers,

That Blond Guy