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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Rihanna is a Satanist

Greetings, my tiny Smurf friends! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted. I've been hiding in my closet with a fishbowl over my head for the past few days so as to not get any germs before exam week.

I'll have you know that I'm in a superb mood today, for totally trivial reasons. 1) I'm now officially a member of the track team, 2) I turned in all of my entries to the school's literary magazine on time, and 3) I spoke to my dream girl today. Actually the conversation we shared went something like,

Me: "Hi."

Her: "She's just oblivious, isn't she?"

But that's all right. It was...enough for me.

...God, I'm a creep.

In other news, yes, exam week is approaching. I should have started studying about two or three weeks ago, but it's a struggle for me to get down to it, so I'll be lucky if I start today. I really should be studying right now, in fact, but I just don't have it in me. Every time I tell myself that, okay, now is the time to start studying, I get hungry and go get a snack. After that, I get another snack. After that, another. And another and another and then I listen to music for about half an hour while staring at one of my textbooks. Then I go to bed, because I look up at the clock and see that somehow it's already half past five in the evening.

I also found out last week that my sister doesn't know what the word "pimp" means. She's always been slightly innocent and naive, but this was worse than I expected. We were at the dinner table when my sister asked,

"Hey, Christopher, can you pass the peas?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, you're a real pimp."

The whole family was sort of quiet for a while and the rest of the family kind of shielded their eyes and exchanged glances. She noticed it and said, "What? It means he's a cool person! What else could it mean?!"

I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that she's like that.

Another highlight of the week happened in art class. The teacher lets us listen to music during class (or at least he doesn't stop us, because he's only in the classroom for about six minutes a day). So one person was listening to the song Umbrella by Rihanna. The guy sitting next to her asked what she was listening to. She told him that he was listening to Umbrella. The guy said, "Oh, yeah, that's an okay song. But you know Rihanna is a Satanist, right?"

Everyone in the class heard him too. I looked around with a giant smirk on my face, expecting other people to be equally amused and knowing. Instead, they were shocked and curious. They all asked him how he knew this. He said a friend of a friend told him that there were certain allusions to Satan and hell in the song. The entire class believed him without even quesitoning it. One person who usually despised him even said, "That's weird--she doesn't seem like the type."

It's pathetic! Believe are so gullible! No wonder Hitler's propaganda was so effective: people so easily accept what others say as true if it sounds true without questioning it. This is even worse, though. How could Rihanna be Satanist? Does she even know who Satan is? If someone asked her that, her response would be something along the lines of "Sounds like a real bad-ass rapper who knows how to party serious."

On an unrelated note, I'm giving up on the "30-Day Thing." It was too confusing, I think I did it wrong, and I'm insecure about my appearence. So I'm putting it to an end.

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

8 people secretly have a crush on me:

RainboRevolver said...

Well, the Satanism thing with Rihanna would explain what posessed her to dye her hair that color.

lol bad pun sorry..

Have a nice day.

lula said...

Hey Blonde Guy! Hope you were kidding about being insecure. Very handsome!
Haha the "pimp" thing was funny.
xoxo, gossip girl

Me, forever. said...

HOLD UP! Satan isn't a rapper?!?!? and a pimp isn't a cool person?!?
!? My life is a lie.

Furree Katt said...

there's this documentary called The Arrivals, it has a whole segment dedicated to decoding the messages in this song.
thanks for saying you try to read my posts, it means a lot :D

tegan said...

HAHAHAHAHA RIHANNA, A SATANIST!? I feel so sorry for you. Your school is clearly filled with morons...
I love hearing about the random things that happen to you, haha!

Oh and 2 things,

1 - thank you for saying I'm pretty. :)
2 - I BET YOUR TEDDY BEAR LOVED IT.

Smokey_Cat said...

Nice Post.

Many people I know think almost all musicians are satanists, who are worshiping the anti-Christ trough their music, but hey, to each their own I guess

On another note, your writing style reminds me of myself when I was younger. If I was was your age, I'd like to date you once in a while, your weirdness is endearing.

Eeshie said...

Ha! Oh, wow. Your sister is funny. This post made my day. How old is she anyway? She cracks me up. :)

Red Sunshine said...

wait...you mean pimp doens't mean cool person?? oh shoot. Loljk! I don't think it necesarily a bad thing to not know slang terms, but it is really strange.