Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Oedipus Complex and Brunette Preteens in Yellow Dresses

My highlight of this week was when me and two other guys were standing in the highway after an Academic Team practice and someone mentioned one of the questions about Sigmund Freud and the Oedipus Complex. One of the guys asked what the Oedipus Complex is. I said, "It's just what it sounds like, isn't it?" And he responded, "You wanna kill your dad and bang your mom?!"
Just as he said that, a junior walked right by us and that was all he heard. He glanced back at us with wide eyes and ran off without a word. Man, there are going to be some weird rumors flying around the school about me from now on.

More importantly, I want you to listen to this song by Cold War Kids: Hospital Beds. It's so hip it hurts. Like, literally. Don't listen to unless you're willing to experience some minor chest pains and abdominal discomfort.

On an unrelated note, I want to post the link to my Youtube Channel just because I need attention and my channel has been remarkably unsuccessful. I haven't been to make any real videos because I can't figure out how to work the camera and have had to resort to using my webcam. You can skip over the piano songs I wrote because I'm so awesome and gifted, but make sure you check out "A Moderately Relaxing Video" and then make sure you tell me how funny and charming I am.

It's cool, though, because I've never had a "Highest Rated Comment" on any of the videos and I was getting desperate for some recognition. So I went on to the official music video for "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor and commented,

"Thumbs up for this comment if you, uh, like sex."

And it actually worked--I have the highest rated comment!!!

Because all of you are desperate to know how I am, I'll go ahead and tell you I'm not doing so hot. It's exam week and I've been sick for the past two or three days, so of course I'm not in the best of moods. Also, my wife left me in the middle of the night last night and took the car, my son, and the house with her. She took everything--all I have left is a bare mattress and the clothes on my back. And a piece of cardboard I've been using as a blanket. Which makes me wonder whether or not I'm really just a delirious homeless man who had a crazy dream.

I want to add as a modest side note that I although I don't always comment, I do try to read all of your blogs as often as possible. It may not seem like it, but I'm always with you. I might be hidden in the bushes, or crouched down in your closet, or staring through your bedroom window while you sleep so that you can't see me, but I'm always with you. Watching you.

That Blond Guy

13 people secretly have a crush on me:

Rezden said...

Piano stuff was amazing. I'm all about that though. Listen to piano covers of popular and video game music all the time. Great stuff. Never knew that complex existed, thanks for the lesson. :)

Kassandrah said...

you are my favourite!

Eeshie said...

The video was very, er...relaxing? Ha ha. See what I did there? Ha ha. Ha.

I'm done now.

RainboRevolver said...

Ooooh YouTube channel!

Cassandra said...

Cold War Kids <3

That Blond Guy said...

Rezden: Oh, it does exist. And it's very prominent in Albania and many parts of Chicago.

Kassandrah: I don't know if you'll check the comment page again to read this, but your comments always make me feel so good about myself. Thank you for being such a good follower.

Eeshie: Oh, yes. Very good!

Julia: Yeah, I suscribed to your channel and tried to "friend" you but I'm not sure if it worked.

Cassandrah: Yeah, the leader singer has strong arms. I'd totally go gay for him.

RainboRevolver said...

That would make you my first subscriber I believe :) I'm flattered. But I saw no friend request.. try again perhaps?

Btw the piano is pretty fantastic. Nice monkey too.

That Blond Guy said... said on your channel I had already invited you so I couldn't do it again. Have you checked your Youtube inbox?

I haven't spoken to the monkey for six weeks--ever since I discovered he wasn't a real monkey. I felt betrayed.

Shannon said...

I love the sidebar thingy. And I have started reading this and I loved it. You have me hooked on your posts.

Boyd said...

I'd never heard Cold War Kids until about 20 seconds ago when I clicked the link...I have a feeling I'll have to take a trip to the library very soon and check them out in greater detail...

lula said...

Hello you clever you! The Oedipus Complex comment made me laugh out loud. That AND what you said on my blog. Oh yes, just to reassure you I don't speak six languages, just four.
Ever read Electra, the Greek tragedy? It's good stuff.
By the way, smart move for the highest rated comment! I'll go check out your channel asap.

PS: sorry to hear that your wife left you with nothing but a piece of cardboard

kiss kiss bang bang

tegan said...

LOL, I had rumours going round that I fucked a hockey stick.
Oh wait I actually did.

he wouldn't marry a slinky in a tuxedo?!

Mack said...

Thumbs up for the academic team reference. :)

That stalker reference sounds slightly Twilight-esque... some stupid girl who only has one facial expression might be turned on by that. Watch your back.

I watched your video, too- your mom has a sense of humour.

Great post!