The Superbowl and American Football: Duhn, Sit, Hi-IKE

So what do you know? It's here! Hurray! Fetch the beer! Someone get some peanuts! Lock your wife in a closet! THE SUPERBOWL IS HERE!!!!!!!!

Let me share with you a little secret...one that everyone knows by talking to me about sports for more than seven seconds:

I don't keep up with sports.

There, I said it. Don't judge me. Ever since I was hit in the forehead with a football and lost all my memory and mental records of sport teams and famous football players. Banter involving college rivalry is to me like trying to interpret the chat of the French people who always seem to sit next to you at the Starbucks in Manhattan. All the names of the godly sports heroes in American history float in one ear and out the other. Leagues, teams, names, wins, losses, stadiums, etc. mean about as much to me as formulas in science class. And about a week before the Super Bowl, there's that defining moment where at least one person asks me, "Who are you rooting for in the Super Bowl?" I never know WHO'S going to be in the Super Bowl.

About a week ago, a guy asks me, "So who do you want to win the Super Bowl." I shrug and respond, "...the underdog." He gives me a funny looks and shoots back, "Who do you think is this underdog?" I spit out the first name that comes to mind: "The Bears." He looks at me like I'm insane. "The Bears aren't in the Super Bowl!!!" I say, "That...is why they're the underdog."

So now you know who you're dealing with.

And I might also mention with only a bit of shame that the commercials are my favorite part. I drift off during most of the game. Don't worry--my parents wake me up for the commercials.

AMURICA'S NUMBA ONE!!! Yeah, football!