@$#%@#$%

If you're like me and either still in school, or a human, or both, then you hear people swear all the time. And not I-swear-upon-my-mother's-grave swears. Cussing. Profanity. The art of the foul-mouthed.

What is even up with curse words? Half of them don't mean anything! Then why do we care so much when people use them? I dunno. Because we do. I guess the act of uttering a word that has been deemed unspeakable is an offense in itself.

I'll take a break from blabbering like a youth group leader and beeline towards the point. I don't mind cursing terribly when it's used in moderation. That definitely sounded weird. "It's okay to curse if you don't curse too much." But if you just shout out a four-letter word with the occasional stubbed toe or broken arm, you're fine. I can't say otherwise, or I'd be a hypocrit. In fact, I'm okay with a little profanity hear or there for the sake of HUMOR. What the hell? So for a preacher's son planning to run on about his annoyance with swearing, I'm no saint.

Two extremes, both of which I'm extremely annoyed by:

1) This category includes Catholic school teachers, mothers, sweet/old-fashioned grandmothers, nuns, Ralphie's mom, etc. You utter a word that doesn't fall under their "approved" vocabulary list, they go crazy. They panic at the sight or sound of a four-letter word. Too many nasty words and you've earned a ticket to hell. You deserve to be hanged, or at least put in prison. "What're you in for?" "Potty mouth. You?"

2) This one includes the regulars at bars, just 'bout everyone under the age of 22, Family Guy before the Reformation, and the guy from Green Day. (Have you ever seen the music video for Jesus of Suburbia? No offense to fans, but the beginning is like a bad joke. I think their constant use of the f-word is like their confession that they don't speak English fluently.) This category drives me out of my mind more than the first category. These guys curse like smokers smoke, drunks drink, and Disney actresses get pregnant. In others words, they are very consistent with their bad language.

Now here's a bigger problem--curse words that DO mean something and other words which have meanings than are a thousand times as offensive as some curse words. I'm ready to punch every guy out who calls a girl at school slut, whore, etc. just for the sake of it. And I can't stand all the idiots who ever use the n-word to address blacks. People like that hold us back from progress. It's why racism is still an issue for racing for attention, right behind world peace, poverty, and war. It belongs in the past, man. Don't be a hater, son. Don't be a hater.

There has never been a falser phrase than "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." Every day I hear people toss around words like "fat," "gay," and "retard." Yeah, I'm being uptight. Yeah, maybe your math teacher is okay with saying words like "retard" while this nerdy teenager is as fussy as your grandmother. But do you realize that when you're saying retard, you're referencing people with mental disabilities? That is not okay.

Ask yourself this question: why do you curse? And answer it truly, because I very highly doubt that God is sitting up in heaven with a record book of who likes cursing and who doesn't. Do you actually like cursing? Are you addicted, or are you reluctant? Or do you curse at all? If you curse a lot because your friends want you to curse, I'm balancing pity for you and urge to strangle you.

If you have issues with cursing, do me a favor and cut it down. Teenage years would be less of a nightmare if I didn't hear exclamations of @$#% and @#$U and @#$% and @#%@#% and @## all the time. I mean, my teenage years would still be a horrifying nightmare, but it might ease the pain a tiny bit.

Yeah, I know this post has been boring and really rather awful, but if you struggled through it, you do get a prize.