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Monday, October 17, 2011

Some Pitchas--I Mean, Like, A LOT of Pitchas

It's my birthday in two days. Yeah, I'm happy. Unfortunately, my birthday almost always coincides with Homecoming Week, so I can never do anything with my friends from school, and my friends from my old school are sort of all over the place. So I'm not actually doing anything much this weekend except with my family. We just went to PF Changs. Yuh.

Now how about some pictures. Some of these pictures are really old, and all of them are totally random, but I thought I might as well. Okay, first, here's a pigeon.



That's actually my pet pigeon. His name is Pigeon. Which makes me sort of like the Pigeon Lady. Except I'm not lady. At least as far as you know. Whaaaaaaaaa?

Next, here's a picture I guess I never really showed you guys. It's my art piece from Drawing 2 last year. We took a common, household tool and made a giant portrait of it and did all sorts of weird shit to it. Here's mine:



It's a wrench. In case you can't tell, you dumbass. It took a lot of work. I think it was at least two months in the end. There are like three layers on that drawing. I'm rather proud of it, though. I was fucking sick of it after about the sixth week of working on it, though.

Here's some pictures from the lake that my family and I sometimes go to when the people there are kind enough to loan use their lake house. Yeah, we don't even have our own lake house. We just steal them from other people. We're like rats. Or maggots. If you stay out long enough, you'll come back to your lake house and flip on the lights and we'll squeal and take cover under the couch or something.


That's me and my dad at the lake. I tried singing the song "Cat's in the Cradle" to make him play catch with me, but he just told me to leave him alone.


There's the sunset. Pretty standard sunset, I think. But I like it. Sunsets are nice. My sister is in this picture. Except you can't really see her, because she's drowning under water.



This is a picture of a bee that my dad took. I think it's really really a good picture. I was very impressed. I don't know how it's going to show up on blogger, but the quality is excellent on our camera. The bee looks so colorful--I would eat it if you paid me enough.

Next up, here's a couple of pictures from the studio of Joel Barr. We went to visit his studio a while back and it was insanely cool. He just gave us a little tour and showed us around a bit. It was actually amazing. Afterwards, though, we went to Urban Pl-8, and I didn't like that, because it was rabbit foot. But there you are.




He made a lot of little mini ones. Those are some of them right there that we're looking at. I don't know why I'm standing that way, though. Maybe I'm trying to hide an erection because this art is so awesome.



Here's another of his paintings which I really like. If you wanna see anymore, too bad. Go to his fucking website, you shitheads. But really, check out his website. It's cool. And I don't actually think you're shitheads. I'm sorry.



This is my boy cat, Lucky. You may have heard of him. He is perhaps the greatest cat to have ever stepped on the face of the earth. He likes vibrators, but not the sex toy kind. The back massage kind. And he can talk.



This is a picture I took of my brother, Matthew, on the way back from Texas. There's not really any reason I'm posting this except because 1) the background is really really pretty and 2) he actually somehow looks kind of badass in this picture. And my brother is not one to look badass. So if you're reading this and you know Matthew, don't tell him I posted this picture. Just let him bask in the subconscious glory.



This is a picture of me running track. It looks like it's going to turn out really small, which is a shame, because my face looks hilarious in this picture. But yeah, I'm fourth in the picture, and I'm running the 4X100. I'm beating a black kid! Shut up! That's not racist. I just thought I might mention that he's black because it's an interesting detail.



This is a picture of me, my brother, my sister, and mom as babies. Well, my mom wasn't a baby (ha ha) I hope. But yeah, this is a pretty great picture. I'm in the middle. I'm holding Bunny in my right hand. Bunny is probably the only thing that got me through my childhood. Bunny is a bunny. And he's very soft. He almost got eaten by a dog, but we rescued him.


This is a picture of my brother, me, and a friend from our old school in Boy Scouts in like third or fourth grade staying overnight on the USS Yorktown. It was probably one of the coolest experiences of my life, even though I was not such a huge fan of Boy Scouts. There were four bunks stacked on top of one another. And that night, a bunch of kids from our troop got sick and like all of them were on the very top bunk. Yeah. It was raining vomit. But not in a good way, like sometimes.

Here's a picture of my Jack-o-Lantern from 2009. I think it may possibly be my masterpiece.



Yeah, it creeped the fuck out of me and I made it. So yeah.

Finally:



Bloggers, meet Swag Face. Swag Face, meet bloggers.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I'm probably going to end this blog around Halloween, so stay tuned until then. I'll try to get my web-comic up and running so I can link it to you guys. Also, if I manage to get a hold of this Dutch girl from EYC and claim her as my own, I will make an exception and come back to tell you guys.

Movie Quote of the Day: "No, Boss, I'm Jewish." -Knuckles, Bugsy Malone

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

10 people secretly have a crush on me:

L. said...

Hi Swag Face. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Okey, Christopher, when is your birthday? Because my birthday is in about two weeks as well (12 days! Eek, permit test! WHAT UP!) and I just think that it would be crazy awesome if we had the same birthday. We probably don't. I never have the same birthday as people.

All of those pictures were really brilliant. The picture of your cat made me sad, and it made me miss my kitty, even though my kitty was evil incarnate and hated all living things with the passion of one thousand suns going supernova at the same time. She was still soft and cuddly, if you didn't mind having your eyes clawed out. It was a cute picture though. I love kitties. I want another one, but I'm allergic, so...

That picture of the pumpkin was mentally scarring. For realz.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

Your art piece is AMAZING. I love it.

You're also an absurdly handsome person. I like you more and more with each picture. (Happy birthday!)

Furree Katt said...

i enjoyed this. you're cute! and so is your brother! that makes your sister cute too.
and yes your parents are cute as well.
once i used to have 80 pigeons. that's right, 80.
i think the wrench art is very cool.
i love your cat. he looks so stroke-able.
and that bee is so thin! i thought bees were round. O.O
your Jack-O-Lantern looks like you :O
YOU'RE CUTE!!!!

dirtycowgirl said...

Nice pics - really like your drawing, but your cat is not the greatest cat to ever live because mine are.

I hope you get the dutch girl :)

RainboRevolver said...

I enjoyed this one, it's like a window into your life. Very enlightening. LOVE the Bugsy Malone quote :)

Gabi said...

SO YOU SHOULD TOTALLY EAT THE BEE AND MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF IT.
Because you'd get like 5 million views, and then you'd be famous and then a talent scout will see your cheekbones and be like WHOA CHEEKBONES. Then you can be a super model.
Also, I like your wrench. (Did that only sound sexual to me?)

Eeshie said...

OH HEY. Your swag face is so swaglicious. Did I just say that? Yeah, I think I just did. Deal with it, bitch.

And happy birthday! Eat lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of cake. Eat so much that you gain twenty four pounds. Reserve the bakery for your own personal needs. Gorge on piece after piece of cream filled, frosted-topped cakes. Do it! Do it NOW!

Cosette said...

Nice to meet you, Swag Face. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

I love your wrench-inspired art piece.

Cosette said...

Also, love the Bugsy Malone quote. Tallulah represent!

Myli said...

I know I'm way late, but Happy Birthday!