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Sunday, January 31, 2010

CODE RED!!!

Empathize with me for a moment or a long time...

Imagine what it would be like if everyone in the same room as you knew exactly when you were feeling remotely uncomfortable, embarrassed, or guilty. Every time more than four pairs of eyes or so are trained on you, the temperature in the room spikes oh so conveniently. Every spot on your body itches. The room is literally tinged slightly, slightly, slightly, slightly red. You're disoriented by suffocating embarrassment as well as woozy confusion. And to top it all, some smart-A shouts out way too confidently, "Look! He's turning red!"

Oh! The woes of being white! I have diagnosed blushing. Yes, there are prescription drugs and personal trainers for it, but it's still a pressing issue. When too many people look at me or I don't know what to say when talking to someone, I have been generously granted three options by God and genetics:

A. Blush as though I was a 400-pound man having just run three miles.
B. Stutter
C. Both!

A fellow thin-skinned friend described it as "like your body getting all red and hot, excessive blushing." Not exactly poetic, but it's all too familiar.

And this, my friends, has earned me a one-way ticket to the Wondrous World of Nerds.

Thanks for reading. Help me.

3 people secretly have a crush on me:

Sam West said...

meh, who cares
-It's totally adorable for guys.

-Sam. (who can relate entirely)

That Blond Guy said...

Hm...adorable. I wish.

-Christopher, (who just needs a friend who has a worse blushing problem than he does :( so that he can laugh at that person whenever he feels the need to)

Tawni said...

So! I used to blush when I would get in front of people to talk, too. And it sucked. I'm all too familiar with that feeling. So the only advice I have for you is to join debate. Do you have that at your school? Well, I take debate and I can't even tell you how much it has helped me. I could probably get in front of a whole gym full of people and I wouldn't even blush (: So that's my advice for you! I hope it helps!