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Friday, May 21, 2010

My Kin

Yesterday I was struck with a violent realization: I haven't told the readers of The Nerd Archives anything about my family yet! Well, that simply isn't acceptable.


You know how special my family is to me? I live in their house. I eat similar food, but not exactly the same. I share their cats and TVs, and I sit on some of the same furniture. I go on road trips with most of them, but sometimes one person doesn't go. I share some memories with them, and other memories I keep to myself. We don't read a lot of the same books, but we all have the same last name.
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I could make that into a poem.

Well, I better open up to you about my kin sooner or later. Why not now?

MY FATHER:





My dad is old. I'll just go out and say it. He's in his late 70s. He doesn't know his own name, and he's in a nursing home for American citizens who are too old to be allowed.


Okay, fine. I'm messing with you. But I will say this: he's older than the average dad of a teenager. But you know what? I think that's a good thing. It means he's wiser than he would be otherwise, calmer, smarter, and considerably richer.

I have never regretted the fact that my dad is at an advanced age. I rejoice in it!


My father is the headmaster of my old elementary school. That used to have weight, because it meant that other elementary schoolers gave me a certain amount of respect that I didn't deserve. It doesn't anymore, though. How could it? If some kids were about to beat me up, would I just say, "Stop! My Dad is the headmaster of a private elementary school!" "Okay, man. We don't want any trouble."

He's a good headmaster, if I can say so myself. He's also very artistic, a wonderful writer, and very funny.
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One moderately important side note: He doesn't have any legs.

MY MOTHER:

Yeah, the Episcopal Priest. That's the one. It's not at all like what you might think it would be to have a priest as a parent--an Episcopal priest, at least. When a woman is a priest like my Mom, you can hardly tell the difference. She's in book club. She used to be a soccer mom. She still does the dishes. There's very little strangeness because of it.
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She actually started out as a pharmacist, which I've always thought was weird. Priests nowadays seem to come from unexpected places. A priest at a Methodist church in Atlanta used to be a comedian. Comedians, pharmacists, lawyers, prison guards, television show hosts, bounty hunters, assassins, etc. You get the point.
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She's very friendly. Almost too friendly. That's about it.
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And...................I've already managed to make this post rather long. Check back in a day or two for a post about my
TRIPLET SIBLINGS.
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Thanks for reading.

4 people secretly have a crush on me:

Lost in the Post said...

Well, whenever my father is in sight with me, people think that he's my grandfather. I'm thinking it's the white mass of hair on his head. Ah, but I love him so. :)

Anyway, brilliant and interesting post as always and anticipating your blog about triplets! :)

thecircusbird said...

My dad has really, really, really long hair. It goes to the bottom of his arse.
Triplet siblings sounds so interesting.

That Blond Guy said...

Lost in the Post: Yes! Old parents dominate! And thank you so much.

thecircusbird: Ha! Wow.

I do suppose they sound interesting. It ends there.

ellen ~ said...

Thank you, um, Blond Guy, so much for helping me adopt my fish! :) I'm very satisfied with the way they swim around on my blog there.

You were a lot of help ^-^

- Ellen~