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Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Feel Like Shit Right Now

Everytime I feel like this I try to remind myself of things like "Happiness is a choice" and shit like that. Well, I don't think it's shit. I think it's true. But sometimes, when you feel like shit, you just feel like shit.

I don't know why I'm writing my post, because I'm going to regret it later when I look back and see that my second-to-last post on The Nerd Archives was a post about how I felt like shit. But write these wimpy-ass posts where I bitch about my stupid white boy problems has been one of my favorite parts of The Nerd Archives. So I thought I might as well.

Actually, I'm not going to talk about why I feel like shit. I don't want to go into it. I will, however, post a text conversation I had. I never thought I'd post text conversations ever ever ever, but I guess I was wrong. I had this about a week or two ago after my friend and I bumped into that girl I'd been avoiding for the entire year so far. It was at about 8. Here's how it goes. Also, yes, we actually did use all of this correct punctuation and impeccable grammer. You don't make many friends when you're a Grammer Nazi, but it's worth it because you make friends with other Grammer Nazis.

Me: Also...about today.

Him: About what today?

Me: Nevamind.

Him: Now you have to tell me. Is it about the girl?

Me: Um. No.

Him: It's fine. Do. Not. Worry about it. You didn't look like an idiot at all. Trust me on that--I'm usually quite blunt.

Me: The thing is...I caught up with her later today.

Him: Oh, well, listen. Don't go into it if you don't want to. If you do, I'm listening.

Me: I do.

Him: Alright, what happened?

Me: She was reading, and I just walked up and said hi. Well, actually, first I had to knock on the window.

Him: Wait...What?

Me: Just listen.

Him: Okay.

Me: It turns out the window was unlocked, so I just let myself in. She was in her pajamas.

Him: Wait, how much later was this?

Me: About thirty minutes ago. She started screaming, which freaked me out, so I got all nervous and started knocking stuff over.

Him: Wha

Me: Then her mom came in and screamed too, because I was naked.

Him: What?!

Me: Then I started sobbing and yelling. I scrawled over to her bed and crept under the covers. They were so soft...so soft...

Him: Um, well, okay. Hey. Are you anywhere near my house? Just wondering.

Me: I'm at your house. Gimme some sugar mama. Give your baby some sugar.

Him: I'm calling the cops.

Me: NO POLICE. PLEASE NO POLICE. I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO THE DARK PLACE.

*End of conversation.*

That really was the end of the conversation, because he really did call the police and then the fun was over. But anyway.

I have the URL for the Web Comic, but we haven't posted anything yet. Join the mailing list, though, and I'll repay you in sexual favors! Here's the link. Ask your friends to join to. I don't know if I can repay all of them in sexual favors as well, but maybe if we increase productivity by doing several at once, everyone can have a go.

Do any of you still read my other blog?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Anyway. I still feel like shit. I'm listening to Radiohead, but it's not helping a lot. I'll be in a better mood when I write the last post and then end it all. An observation: ending your blog by a gradual process is not good for traffic. But anyway. It might be a while. I'm flying to Texas this weekend for my grandfather's funeral. And I might be busy until next weekend. But don't forget about me. Don't let me die alone.

Movie Quote of the Day:

...oh fuck it.

Cheers,
That Blond Guy

27 people secretly have a crush on me:

Boyd said...

Awww man...don't feel like shit!! Well, actually, I'm a terrible person to say that (super annoying) cliche...but I'll still love you! even if you show up to my window naked! Then I can keep you chained up in my basement FOREVER!

Fight creepiness with more creepiness, that's my motto.

Cosette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cosette said...

Hon, I know it's super creepy, but please comment on my blog because I'm feeling unloved and I just posted a million new things, including ugly pictures of my face.

Jewbie said...

You spelled grammar wrong, and I hope that it was on purpose, but if it didn't I will love you anyway.

Sorry about your grandfather. :(

Gabi said...

Well. This is embarrassing.
That was a comment from my account from when I was, like, 8.
Oops. Above comment is mine, though.

L. said...

Love the text convo. My friend's conversations with me usually end like that as well.

I'm so sorry about your grandfather. You have my condolences. It sucks to lose people, and funerals are possibly the worst thing in the world.

I totally read your other blog. I love it, and all of its weirdness. Nom nom nom. That is me eating the delicious weirdness.

Totally subscribed to your comic. Oh yeah.

Lots of love and kisses and some bandaids for your white boy problems,

Jen.

Max Silver said...

I won't forget you! D:

RainboRevolver said...

I'm sorry you feel like shit. Sometimes the shitty days are unavoidable. Just remember that the rainy days help you appreciate the sunny ones more.

Your blog won't die alone. I wish I had some way to say hi to you outside of the blogosphere (in the noncreepiest way possible) because you're a funny guy.

Hope things get better for you :)

dirtycowgirl said...

Sorry to hear about your grandfather - sometimes we all feel like shit, sounds like you have at least one very good reason to do so though.

You gotta get the lows to truly appreciate the highs :)

Cosette said...

I'm so sorry about your grandfather. I'll miss you when you leave the blogosphere, but good for you for taking charge of your life!

Eeshie said...

Were you close with your grandfather? My grandfather on my mom's side passed when I was three, and I did not feel a thing. I still don't feel a thing. I feel horrible and guilty that the news of his death never really made me sad, only because I never even knew him. If he was alive now, I still wouldn't know him well because I talk in English and he talks a language that I understand yet can't speak. Complications.

So if you were close with your grandfather, think of it as an amazing, wonderful chance you got to know him.

And I agree with Julia: Your blog won't die alone. I don't post or comment much because Chemistry and Math are fucktards, but I read each and every post of everyone's like the little creep I am, and then leave without saying a word. Yay for creepsters like me!

Have a wonderful day
:)

Kay said...

Don't feel like shit, James. We're all going to miss you so much.

I love how even in the face of sadness you're still a funny guy.

Cosette said...

...and if you showed up naked to my window, I'd be perfectly fine. :P

Abby said...

I know how you feel. I'm really sorry about your grandfather. I hope you feel better soon. I'll miss you so much when this blog closes! But I've signed up for the mailing list, so at least you won't be gone entirely.
So, when can I expect that sexual favor? I have a very busy week...

Lex said...

Wait. I forget. Are you just going to stop blogging all together? Or just on this blog? TELL ME

Also. I would just love to have a conversation with you in person. I think it would be very interesting. Because most of the conversation would be made up and would probably confuse me. But in a fun way.

Okay. Feel better

byeee

Furree Katt said...

i'm so sorry about your grandfather :(

*big hug* i love you and i hope you feel better.

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