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Saturday, August 7, 2010

A Strange Thought: The First Kiss

Just a little thought: I think the image of the first kiss is overrated. People put too much value into it. The first kiss is totally meaningless. First kisses, if we're excluding those given by relatives, are often unremarkable and forgettable.

If you need an example, my first kiss was in kindergarden with a girl who I had punched earlier in the day. I was heading off to carpool, minding my own business--probably wearing some Power Ranger backpack with a teddy bear poking its head out. And there she was--about three and a half feet tall. She landed one on me with her lips puckered, and swiveled around to grab her mom's hand and walk away. How memorable is that?

My second kiss was pretty much the same. My third kiss was in the middle of a Boy Scouts meeting, in maybe third grade or so. (You can see where this is going. Are there any girls at Boy Scout meetings?) I was listening attentively to the leader run on about building tents or some of that helpful nonsense, when I felt wee little dry lips on the side of my mouth. I nearly fell out of my seat as I jerked backward to see what pathetic boy had just tried to kiss me.


And there he was, with an innocent expression on his face, like "Yeah, something wrong?" He stared at the disgusted expression on my face for a bit, then wiped his mouth. I didn't even answer, I just relocated to the other end of the room.

So the first few kisses are meaningless. They really are. The concept of the first kiss has become somewhat of an icon. We need to change that. Let's make it the Fourth or So Kiss that people write teen novels and magazine essays about.

Thanks for reading. Good day. Wonderful day.

4 people secretly have a crush on me:

Andrea said...

I do not want a first kiss. At all.

That Blond Guy said...

But you're fine with a second and third one? Difficult problem to fix.

Andrea said...

Well... I'm not particularly fond of those, either. But if I absolutely must..

Lexa Be said...

Hmmm... I agree. My first kiss was in the middle of the street during the summer after middle school. The kid was my "boyfriend" but I promptly dumped him because he failed at such things. I haven't been kissed since *four years later, boyfriendless, and kissed...less* Blah.

I find boyfriends to be overrated too...but that's only cause they all avoid me due to the fact I'm the crazy girl everyone assumes is a lesbian and therefore avoid like the plague. Consequently, I have a lot of gay guy friends who understand I'm straight. I think if I knew you, I'd probably like you at least a bit...assuming you weren't another "You're not religious....and you support gay people....YOU MUST BE A LESBIAN!" Kisses are thoroughly overrated... or so I'd like to say.

Let's count the Fourth kiss as the meaningful one :)

- Lexa Be