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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Blond Hair, Blue Eyes

Yes, I have blonde hair and blue eyes. Yes, I have pale skin. Yes, I'm tall and yes, I have read and re-read Mein Kampf six times.

(Wait--what was that last one?)

BUT I AM NOT A NAZI!

You see, I look like the ideal soldier from Nazi Germany. It's true. I'll admit it. Whitish blond hair, almost icy blue eyes, white skin. I'm tall. I'm big. And I have a largely expressionless face. BUT--you see--I couldn't be a Nazi, because I am an intellectual. Of course, when I try to explain that to the kids at my school...I don't sound so convincing.

I go to a very diverse school which is about 1/3 Jewish out of the faculty, staff, and student body. Because it's so diverse--(and, of course, because it's a private school)--kids there are very comfortable with each other's racial background. Too comfortable, almost. Some of the Jewish kids at my school enjoy pretending to cower in fear in my presence. How many times have I been called a Nazi? Well, how many sequels are there to Nightmare on Elms Street? How many pages are there in the Bible? How many times has a Disney actress gotten pregnant? There's my answer to your question.

One day while walking to PE, a group of seniors shouted from across the soccer field to me "Hey, Nazi!" "Yeah, we're talking to you!" "Don't hurt my Jewish friend here!" "Go back to Aushwitz!" Is that not derogatory? Reverse-racism, some might call it.

You see, I am a very loving person. I am welcoming of all people. I would never hurt a fly. Not even a Jewish one.

Thanks for reading and I'm not a Nazi.

3 people secretly have a crush on me:

0 said...

Yay for not being a Nazi and for being a loving person who doesn't hurt flies, not even a Jewish fly!
:D
But in all seriousness, it vacuums that people do that to you constantly. I know for a fact the first couple of times can be shrugged off, but after that it can get pretty annoying.

Andrea said...

One of my best friends has blonde hair, blue eyes, is super-duper pale and is of German descent. However, I have only heard of him being called gay, never a Nazi. It's actually more common to hear people being called "Jews" than Nazis, around here. And I don't have the faintest clue why.

Lexa Be said...

Ha. People at my school with blond hair and blue eyes are typical mormons. Though that's only if you count the 50% or so that bleaches their hair. Another reason why I'm a black sheep... I have medium brown hair *naturally, currently it's a deep red* and chocolate eyes. The horror. There's another of the fifty reasons why I plan to escape the hell hole I live in. I wish you luck with the alleged naziness. Call them gay, it typically shuts most blockheaded bastardfaces up in my experience.

- Lexa Be